From a Couple Years Ago

Why do I push so hard for the words I want to hear?  Entrapment in the body with a soul so ready to escape.  It’s quite possible that I just can’t seem to adapt.  Every situation, I turn into a nightmare, which is all I ever dream about.

The challenge of being challenged myself in all I believe, or how I feel.  The freedom is all around me, yet I’m blinded by a word called “love.”  People love me everywhere, but how can anyone love someone who doesn’t love themselves?

Hiding behind NOTHING and trying not to be seen is in all honesty, impossible.  And hiding myself inside my head with no one noticing is also quite impossible.  But how many people really care, REALLY care, is something a lot different.

There are so many beautiful things out there in the world of the real, yet i have nightmares every time I dream.  How do you cope with being alive, if you dream horrible things every time you close your eyes? If I am afraid to go to sleep because of what I might conjure then I’m not sure I want to sleep at all.

My head is so full of other people’s bullshit soon it starts to feel like my own.

What is stability?  Responsibility of some sort.  Maybe the ability to adapt.  To stay Programmed.

Who do I turn to? What I am supposed to learn?   What needs to be changed?

Reflections of Neander that are everywhere.

– Jason Lamotte

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