again and again. challenged with the struggle to stay here. keep and open mind and live moment to moment.judgement will always come your way, but it will pass.
my sanity is working overdrive for the will to stay alive. it felt as though my heart stopped beating. contract terms. what consists of work? how we live? how we stay alive.do we all not work? do we all work? no matter at what it is. isnt life beautiful to enjoy the ride as long as you can. no matter where. no matter what? when we can put that into perspective we can see how e v e r y t h i n g works. its a win. win. everyone who contributes on the way will be ok. only true terms ive ever thought about. i just had a vision. a skelton. i saw my refelection. in the trees. the trees in the graveyard. my head feels full of energy. my ears feel wierd. the energy surging threw me. in the mornings i have a hard time finding reason to wake up. the feeling i have no reason to live. im almost certain this feeling will never go away. i could be touring everyday. could be flying everywhere playing shows. and still i think it will stay. it doesnt make much sense.i dont have a job. i dont have to have a dayjob to survive. i like it that way. it is hard for others to understand. for if i did get a dayjob i think i would choose the path to death. because for me it is death. its not fun. its not something i enjoy.wallowing in my chaotic relationship ending. no real answers other than “been there done that” and the feeling of unwantedness takes hold over me. so how do u let go of what you love, in order to honour another? Letting go of what you want in order to please someone else? Love is a contradiction. just as life. the yin and the yang. black and white. the balance of life. where is she? she is gone. she is still here . but she is gone. wat is the next stop now? where to go. where to find a good place for love. who am i hurting? everyone around me. because i am who i am. popeye said that, i heard from somewhere. indeed life is good. what is the next stop. what is my next focus. focus on the way to stardom. who has every really heard me speak? what have i ever preached and acted on. i bet there is a list going somewhere. who is watching. who cares…….
– Jason Lamotte